How to Deal with Difficult Family Members During the Holidays

No matter how much you love your family, family gatherings in the holiday season can bring up childhood wounds and heartbreaking grief. This pain, aggravated by a generally stressful and busy season, can create a perfect storm of emotions and stress that incites arguments and hurtful comments. Taking small but powerful steps like assertive communication and healthy boundaries can go a long way in creating healthier family dynamics. Be kind to yourself this holiday season and take necessary steps to navigate interactions with challenging family members.

Here are five strategies to help deal with difficult family members during the holidays.

Set realistic expectations: It can be tempting to be overly optimistic during the holidays, but family members’ actions are rarely surprising. Think through what realistically might happen during your next interaction so you can plan accordingly.

Plan ahead: Brainstorm what topics need to stay off limits. A holiday family gathering is likely not the best time to discuss polarizing social issues. Plan for your triggers and ways you can have a break or a moment to yourself.

Set boundaries: Healthy boundaries can protect your peace and make challenging relationships more manageable. Use these tips to set healthy boundaries . Most importantly, stick to the boundaries that you make!

Communicate clearly: Don’t wait for people to guess what you’re thinking or feeling -  people cannot read your mind and you will be disappointed. Use assertive communication to relay what you need from others.

Practice self-compassion: Validate your own feelings, acknowledge that it’s ok to make mistakes, and figure out how to move forward in ways that align with your values. Use the same gentle tone when talking to yourself that you might use with a close friend.