5 Ways to Support Your Grief During the Holidays

Decorations are popping up, seasonal songs are playing, and people are buzzing about their holiday plans. Everyone around you seems happy and excited while you feel completely alone in dreading another holiday without your loved one. You can’t help resenting others’ happiness and ignorance about your loss as you gear up for a heartbreaking and draining holiday season. Memories, both good and bad, with your loved one might be haunting you, and all the holiday “cheer” is just another reminder of another event that you’ll miss celebrating with them. Whether it is your first holiday without your loved one or several years have passed, holidays can feel isolating, painful, and overwhelming. Read through the below suggestions for ideas on how to support yourself through the holiday season.

1. There is no “right” way to do the holidays while grieving: Other people around you might have plenty of opinions on how you should celebrate the holidays. However, it is solely your decision and should be what makes you most comfortable. If you want to do a big celebration, that is your right - if you need to take a step back from celebrating, that is also your right. Only you know what you need.

2. Evaluate your traditions: If a tradition is no longer serving you, it might be time to let it go. If you want to create new traditions to honor your loved one, think through what might be meaningful and doable for you. Most importantly, don’t put pressure on yourself to make or keep the perfect tradition. 

3. Make a backup plan for your holiday celebrations: When planning celebrations, think through different scenarios that you can easily shift to based on how you might be feeling that day - If you think you want to celebrate with other people but are not sure how much energy you’ll have, brainstorm an exit strategy in advance. 

4. Seek support: Tell friends and family how you are feeling and what you need from them. Join a grief support group or talk to a mental health professional for some additional support during the season.

5. Take care of your physical wellbeing: Listen to your body and tend to its needs. You may need more sleep as your body processes grief. Hydrate and eat nutritious foods to give your body the fuel it needs. Exercise (even in a minimal way) to help release stress from your body.